Wk 2: Lynn

This was very powerful. The writing was captivating throughout, but with the last two lines, this became a real attention trapper. It so clearly demonstrates a damage that the character's experiences have caused her. A bunny! Such a perfect scapegoat to choose - so innocent that it can't help but be sinister!

I think the most important line in the piece is "The stranger's hand presses on," as it both shows that she is still effected by the past as though it were still happening, and is the perfect way to tell us what the inkblot really looks like to her. If you had told us "It looked like a stranger's hand…" it would have been so much less effective! Nice job! In fact I think that this line tells us the "secret" so well that you don't need the words "rifled through her intimate parts," from the second stanza, for us to get it. While I liked the extended image in this stanza, and thought it did a VERY good job of showing how horrible and used it make the victim feel, I do think that this stanza just doesn't quite fit, for a couple reasons. First, it seems to be missing a subject. What is the thing that did the riffling, and what did it do afterward? By starting this stanza with "Having… indicates that we need a subject, and we need to know what it did after having rifled through her private parts. I do really like the way the stanza made me feel, but it just doesn't seem to fit grammatically in the piece. It is also very stylistically different, being the only full stanza with punctation, and also, no line breaks. I these two things are easy enough to fix.

Over all, very a good. A very powerful poem that hit me like a literary fist, and had me thinking about it later.