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Post by lacy on Jun 17, 2014 16:19:04 GMT -5
The First Sentences
More, please!
Demanding but delightful
I wuv you!
Imprecise but intelligible
MOMMY!
Persistent but perfect
What happened?
Clever but curious
Addy did it.
Frustrating but frank
Just being a toddler
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Post by frodissa on Jun 21, 2014 10:57:33 GMT -5
It's nice that your favorite words are the first "put-together" words of your child. I like this, and this is probably just a matter of opinion, but I wonder how it would flow with quotation marks? I can't tell until I see it if I want them on one of my poems or not.
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Post by tarasummerville on Jun 21, 2014 20:38:01 GMT -5
I love that given the prompt of favorite words, you selected the words of your child... who is just beginning to learn our language. I don't have any kids at the moment... but i can only imagine how amazing it is to watch a tiny human begin to associate words to their thoughts. I do agree with Lynn though. I think that putting quotation marks would just polish it off.
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Post by lacy on Jun 22, 2014 10:04:03 GMT -5
Thanks for the idea. Here's the revision:
The First Sentences
"More, please!"
Demanding but delightful
"I wuv you!"
Imprecise but intelligible
"MOMMY!"
Persistent but perfect
"What happened?"
Clever but curious
"Addy did it."
Frustrating but frank
Just being a toddler
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Post by Cir on Jun 22, 2014 17:18:55 GMT -5
I think first words are powerful. Very cool idea. I also think the revision improves it.
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Post by frodissa on Jun 24, 2014 7:05:26 GMT -5
I think the revision is an improvement, too.
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