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Post by lacy on Jun 6, 2014 21:44:41 GMT -5
Extended School Year
Winter rain, spring snow
Known as the heart of it all
Ohio is home
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Post by Cir on Jun 7, 2014 17:26:17 GMT -5
The more I read this the more I liked it. The title, the really specific first line, the way it sounds like a description in a wise little booklet of the States, everything works together really well. And of course, all haiku's should speak truth and this one really does.
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Post by tedeschi026 on Jun 7, 2014 17:54:47 GMT -5
Well done Lacy. Without the title we still would have known exactly the message you were conveying.
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Post by tarasummerville on Jun 7, 2014 18:36:59 GMT -5
Ugh, i love this. All you had to say was Winter Rain and i knew you were talking about good old Ohio.
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Post by zachmiller on Jun 7, 2014 19:49:40 GMT -5
All of us NEOhioans can related to this without any trouble at all! Ohio weather! But really, I feel that if you just had the first line and then the word "Ohio," this would have been just as effective. I don't feel that the middle line, in particular, does much to help right that climatic bell that resonates with all so well.
BUT, whether all the words are needed to communicate the message (and completely discounting that they are necessary for the form), they still do serve a very important purpose: the sense of rhythm in this piece is amazing! I've read it over and over to myself just because I like the way the words feel in my mouth. This is a beautiful example of my favorite (and, I believe, one of the most etherial and hard-to-capture) poetic techniques - that of getting words to read like music.
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Post by aspetz on Jun 8, 2014 9:12:11 GMT -5
I don't want to like this. But on the third read I love it. It's Ohio.
Very clear, very honest
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