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Post by jcalfee on Jun 5, 2014 18:58:05 GMT -5
single push of rain
slides across the faint heart line
of my outstretched palm
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Post by Cir on Jun 7, 2014 17:34:44 GMT -5
From now on I'll think of "single push of rain" when I see a droplet of water doing anything. It captures the zany purpose every solitary and courageous raindrop seems to have.
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Post by tedeschi026 on Jun 7, 2014 17:39:31 GMT -5
I never read anything of yours I don't like and commenting on Haiku is hard for me with my lack of knowledge. However I will say for me the best part was my mind going everywhere but the palm in the first two lines. Then in the last line I was like duh I should have known that. Then I reread it and took it apart and realized there was no way I could have known that.
Great job
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Post by tarasummerville on Jun 7, 2014 18:47:36 GMT -5
This is just such a beautiful image.
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Post by zachmiller on Jun 7, 2014 20:21:24 GMT -5
This haiku is exactly what I think a haiku should be - it is, on the surface at least, a small description of one tiny event caused by mother nature. A burst of rain fell on your hand. But each line also says so much more - so much that the poem seems suddenly to be really more about your heart and your hope for it than about what the rain is doing. Perfect. This is haiku doing what haiku is meant (in my interpretation of the universe, at least) to do.
I like the ease of reading that comes from having it be (other than the initial missing "A") a complete sentence, rather than a series of fragments. And I like that, even though the whole thing is just one sentence, each line has a significance and beauty of its own.
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Post by aspetz on Jun 8, 2014 9:07:19 GMT -5
This is beautiful. Simple and succinct
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Post by frodissa on Jun 10, 2014 17:14:41 GMT -5
Love this  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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