|
|
wk1: Alex
Jun 1, 2014 20:00:31 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by ap on Jun 1, 2014 20:00:31 GMT -5
Washington State (Billie holiday in the background)
Breeze glides through the cracks
Broken window, our feet dive
Sun sets on the fog
|
|
|
|
Post by Cir on Jun 7, 2014 17:39:50 GMT -5
I think
"Breeze glides through the cracks
Broken window"
is really cool.
There seems to be a drive somewhere? Or something else?
|
|
|
|
Post by tarasummerville on Jun 7, 2014 18:45:06 GMT -5
Yeah, i'm picturing a scenic drive though Washington in a busted old car. I love the feeling "Breeze glides though the cracks". Just seems happy and summery.
|
|
|
|
Post by zachmiller on Jun 7, 2014 19:57:55 GMT -5
This sounds like a lovely weekend spent in a cabin near an isolated lake. A cabin with a hot tub. But I'm not sure if I'm right about that. I do get a pretty clear sense of rough beauty out of this, but I can't pin down exactly what is going on, or exactly what type of structure or situation this transpires within. I think this bit of confusion I'm having is because you seem to have three (or maybe even four) very separate images or items that this piece references. I think that if it had two less, and maybe a bit more detail to fill the freed syllables, I could get a much better sense of place, and be, as a result, much more invested in the moment.
|
|
